Thoughts and flowers from the lab
I throw my mind
Over the wall using a single hand
And wait for the bump.
If was searching for novelty,
It might have found it.
What is new is still hidden
And i can only excite in its imminent rise.
Mind will tell me,
Among thoughts of routine,
What I could not imagine
and get thrilled for
Only few days ago..
A full day on my shoulders
And lots of satisfactions
Point towards a new direction.
Taking time to notice,
Each gesture is a responsibility
And a plan for the future.
What tickles my mind
in this dark winter day?
Worries of career, fears of loneliness
This undetermined future of ours
Join forces and seed doubts.
I drop my anchor
In the small achievements in my wallet
And those tiny ideas shining in the dark.
My arms are crossed
And my thoughts far away
When the bell rings.
The day is over
Or does it start?
I head home and fill the last hours
With tenderness and personality
Until the sleep comes
And my heart holds a list
With minute-long experiences and small memories.
Consistency and authenticity
Border the road
Where I roam apparently free.
Direction is forward
On the long term,
But today i will go sideway
And free myself
From the restrain of the map
Of a well accepted career.
I mix my dreams with my loved ones
And try to paint a picture of harmony.
Work and life,
Food and acceptance,
Love and ambition,
Balance and moving forward
Delimit my way.
So sleeping, I choose my dress
In the dark of the bedroom
As an armour for the day.
A sharp colour for subtle affirmations
And a sleek shape to slide through
Confrontation.
The work revolves around
With a touch of nonsense and void.
What makes sense to me
Is not a peculiarity and of no importance
To the reasonless pressure and optimization.
I will observe and learn,
I will stick around.
Those shy corners and shiny ampullas
Surround me and hide.
My search is today personal
And of the highest importance.
Glassware of finger-size collect and mix
While I look through
with patience and focus for my karma.
I smiling enter the tunnel
of fantastic travels
And uninhibited thoughts
While the wet really condenses around me.
The minutes dilate
And the day got a its golden star
Even today.
The pain in the growth
And the pleasure of innocence
That vanishes in the responsibilities.
Pursue or not pursue a dream
of promised strain and unwelcome presence?
The mind flies but the feet are stubborn
And the heart divided.
Staring to the glass
that puts a blue into the reality,
I see th details of my life vibrate
to the rhythm of business and ambition.
A bitter taste comes to the tongue
and life is slowed down
while the old dreams emerge from the back.
I spend the time envisioning the future,
A decision is needed, they say.
The boundaries of decisions
And the rigidity of their mind
Scare me
And poke avidly my concernment
For the future
In a present that changes so fast.
I have no idea of what power
Is pulling the sun up today,
Across a deserted sky of summer loneliness.
I can estimate that strength
And find carefully inside myself
To push myself through the chores
Of the office, of the hobbies, of the marriage.
What holds me back
Has no hands and no reason.
In my belly a fear and a spasm.
From true dedication,
there came disappointment
Dressed in targets and evaluations.
No belly tells lies.
A shoeless child runs through the fields
In a day that holds no promise.
Clouds are unwillingly gathering
And the green is starting to vanish.
My day reached its end
With few praises and many promises.
I know it is only for today
But this empty feeling cannot be stopped.
I sweat alone
While my feet are tapping
And yearn to join the game.
The game is familiar
But I have played it for too long.
Rules are tights jackets
And the ball a long known relative.
The limits of a repetitive and recurrent nature
Are confronted with the infinity of the molecules
Orchestrating a bigger design
As crowded modern cities
Fit in single statistical values.
Find your scale, find your limits,
Start pushing.
Hard and strong like a Kernel
In the stream of the competition
That science has become.
Floating or settling
Talking or observing
I learn to alternate the powers
While the target slowly fades.
The rigid walls of a predefined career
Are easy to aspire to
And reassuring when thinking about the future.
Walls that delimit a job,
That Somebody else has designed
Are very high and the missing view
Is sadly breathtaking.
