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The variables have changed,
Rearranged on a new order
In this life of unknown value.
Today a new road has been taken
And I am energized
As never before.
My stomach a fist
When entering the door
Of predigested decisions
And bland ideas.
The tiny speckle of hope
And possibility of self expression
keeps me going
In and out.
In the middle of the transition,
A day of hope arrived
And the line of life takes a twist.
Unprecedented and unexpected
I find myself dreaming fearful
Of a new daily routine
and a new company.
I feel today like a diapason
Vibrating to the light and dispensing
a push to change inside.
Shaken and torn
The others move and progress.
Here I am in the boring train
Vibrating through the night.
No finger coming closer.
I sweat alone
While my feet are tapping
And yearn to join the game.
The game is familiar
But I have played it for too long.
Rules are tights jackets
And the ball a long known relative.
Wearing a dress,
Finding an old friend,
Discovering your name in a protein sequence
Are moments that pass quickly
But leave a mark
Between the boring yesterday
And the smiling now.
You tell me to move on
Not to ruin the image of your reality.
I will step out
But my opinions are sacred,
Laid in a basket inside me,
And they will be written if not told.
Reality passes quietly and silent
and I needed time to give a name
to all the happenings.
I hate labels but they give the right words
to tell the story
I do not want to forget.