No plans, no agendas, no reminders
When work is curious
And colleagues are stimuli.
Targets are just bites for you
Who anxiously dreams how the whole cake will be
And how the story will end
I contract my muscles
Crunching over control
Of little Excel cells and tiny data points.
The scenario they picture
Is the natural reality
Or the translation of my expectations?
With a joyful papercup of Black tea in my hand
And a backpack of numbers and theories,
I travel through unseen possibilities and questions that hide treasure doors.
I pace the institute
With restless steps
Regular and focused
They fill the time
Until the age of knowledge will come.
You threw your ball
To the distracted crowd
And wait now for it
To be in the air
It flies back to you
Sometimes covering the reassuring sun
Covered in possibilities and maybes.
The echo of clashing experiments
Fills the lab on this windy day.
The dream result
has left everybody standing speechless
And everybody with a broken heart
after days of efforts.
Impulses take over and the youngs predict a ruin
While the seniors know
Another hunt had just started.
I have fallen into the trap
Of listening to your expectations
And demands to make my life reasonable
To your eyes.
Disappointed and surprised
I find myself alone on a life
Of clearly set marks.
The unusual path is hard to justify
And words are limited
But silence and quick hands can make it happen.
Freezing like never before
I face the verdict the data show.
Once a charming idea,
Note the fruit of struggle
For no juice.
Accepting the sunset of a brilliant intuition
Is hard and leaves you empty inside
For a while.
Take a breath and look away
Ponder the future and forget the past
A celebration day is on the way
I just realised this is the magic moment
The routine is interrupted
By a sharp flash of white light.
This will take the form of a time-freeze
With nor targets nor expectations
Only daydreaming and absurdities.
The time a cake with the ingredients
became a cake with two ingredients.
The time the coffee break
And included a whole lunch break.
The time I knew my stuff
Yet my protein decided not to follow
The protocol in front of me.
The time when results were so joyful
And better than any published ones.
The same day I could not stop working
And tempting little questions
Kept popping in my head,
And I was in the lab until morning.
The sun is shy today
And clouds seem to buffer
The full potential of a day in the lab.
Trepidation takes me there,
Expectations drive my walk to the bench,
Reasoning on unheard hypotheses
Excites my ego and hurries my hands.