The sheet lands on the floor confident
And crashes my plans of disruption.
I was at the border of what is known,
I thought I jumped resolutely forward
For all of us.
I am now in the crowd again
Silent for a moment,
While the tank of curiosity refills.
My protein had lost is fluo,
It doesn’t greet me with a spark
At the end of the dark fridge anymore.
We were friends
And she left me.
Her curls flat free on the water now,
Her awesomeness remains in my book.
I have my hypothesis,
My experiments will prove it.
Lazy to self correction and proud
I will not look sideways.
Is that my husband?
We hugged and kissed.
I sweetly insisted.
He was not amused, he was not my husband.
Your pipettes are still smoking
And your notes on scrap paper
When the holidays arrive.
A feeling of incomplete and guilt descends
While you leave the long concrete corridor.
your mind rushes
to plan and refine elegant experiments
Not to waste time
While your bikini awaits you.
Dots of unknown colour,
Stains of never-studied proteins
Are my medals.
On my chest and around my arm,
They Tell a recent story of fight and explosions.
Invincible in the way,
standing strong through the washings ,
A Memento of the past and a map to my future.
Another day has passed
Through my clicks and my printings
In the busy lab
Who looks forward.
Lab animals feed on planning the future
And snack on tiny bites of promising mistakes
While the mission proceeds.
The echo of clashing experiments
Fills the lab on this windy day.
The dream result
has left everybody standing speechless
And everybody with a broken heart
after days of efforts.
Impulses take over and the youngs predict a ruin
While the seniors know
Another hunt had just started.
Nonsense discussions behind random numbers
Fill the time of scientists with no ideas.
Good hypotheses and good manners
Show in results with a clear personality
And a well written message.
I fit my point like I fit my best friends
Connected by a line
Made of interests and good food.
One after the other
They enrich and trace the days
Otherwise white and smooth
Like a sheet of paper.
A mute film goes on in my mind
Where the next experiment is enacted
And proteins jump and roll
Under the perfect light
On the thinnest of the cellulose fibres.
The behaviour is unpredictable,
A moody twist of the binding
Produces a loss and a dramatic inactivity.
The tiny acrobat has fallen
But not without living an imaginary event
Of high potential for science
And of fascinating cartoonish drama for me.
Having the answer
Makes your shoulders rest
And your breathing come back
Like a goldfish back to water
After an acrobatic jump.
The apnea of the search
While diving through false illusions
and deceiving results
Yet addictive to the heart.
Life of a scientist,
A Life of paranoia.
Evident results lead to clear conclusions
Yet the doubt arrived and tiny unobserved details
Living by minimizing errors and degrees of freedom
To be able to trust the numbers and the senses.
Lists lead the way
When tasks add up and the schedule is busy.
Meetings translate in lists
And agendas become tasks.
Ideas in a row
and hands catch the rhythm
Going through the list
That details the open questions of the day,