Regular and precise
Like a shiny Salt Crystal
Feel the changes in the air around me.
Melting away I let my energy spread
While strongly I hold on to the skills and ideas
Hiding inside but not vanishing.
Noise and broken sentences
Crawl in my mind
Worrying why the job I used to enjoy
Is now a reason off dark dreams and tears.
Have I seen a part of it that disgusts me?
Is it just this broken environment I am in?
Is it inside me? Is it the situation?
I reject the whole package
And my life gets impossible,
and gets on.
The invisible fragments
Swim free in pure sterile water
Ready for the magic.
The monstrous plasmid is coming
and the reaction will start
Hot, agitated, repetitive.
A single mutation will change the course of the experiment.
A tiny step of in vitro evolution.
Tell me your secret
To enjoy the moment
When the plan diverts and the reality is illogical.
The shivering is sudden
And search for an explanation instantaneous.
A million doors are open at the moment
And you feel your chance has finally arrived.
Signs of age, symptoms of the changing time
Recur unexpected through my day
Shedding a cold perspective
On my actions and reality
I cannot always see.
The candid dove of experimental design flies in
And shows to all the way
To elegance and beauty
Of working in the lab
At the end of the table
The wise sits in silence
Observing and staring
Those who nervously run
And show their plumage.
Giant and buffing the monster has me
Again at the door of the achievement.
His presence fills my room
And lays imperfections on my slides
Of no importance
While others breath freedom.
Tapping on the floor
I pace the value of my time
And train my patience.
External observers can judge my work
And evaluate my knowledge
Like a rough diamond under the lens
But no eye can know it all.
Internally distracted by an espresso
I live intensity and frustration
In the same instant.
The high tide of energy will pass
Leaving a human and restless
Managing of time and ambition.
Everything is possible
Yet the way had to be chosen
Based on a idealized arrival city.
Flipping a coin or following the heart
Are equal when the attitude decides
If it will reason or shine sun.
Caught up by the lab turmoil
I end up in situations I can’t control
And do not realize.
Taken by surprise
Rapidly search for my thin shield
When a sword would be my choice.
Everybody laughs and dies a bit inside
Thanks to your loud senseless sexist humor.
Many makes can stupidity have
Yours is comedy,
The lowest one
With no imagination or word game.
An airy circle will form
Amber I will watch it.
My brain figuratively sits
On a wooden chair in the back of my head
And stares around
To acknowledge the reality and the dynamics
In front of its feet.
Relaxation comes, as energy at a minimum
Is necessary during the day.
When the fear sets in
Reasoning is a far weak flame
Fighting timid to set a luminous fire
To restore control and confidence.
Patience and focus are rewarded.
Hypnotized by the changing lights
I forget this is a meeting
And dream of northern lights
And traveling north
to the land where I am asexual
And my words build my credibility.
Pretty of scientific doubts
I lie thoughtless in the office,
Where are my results?
Are they meaningful?
Imaging reviews and critical questions,
My whole theory collapses
in fear and awe
While doubting myself.
Go far and you will find
Your question mark
Adrenaline and fear will rush
While your steps will start
To be longer and longer
For a closer and closer
Destination of clarity.
Flowers and light in a ray
decorate my corner
bringing life in an office of intensity and cramps.
Learning the antique art
of pronouncing monosyllables
I forecast a bright future and move the first step
Pink and purple
will invest my office like a breeze
or warmth and freespeech.
Innovation starts by doing things differently
and no greyzone is allowed
in my timid heart and brave mind.
Words come out and silence enters
liberating the energy and welcoming the confidence.
Public speaking is a walk
in the land of thorns and poppy seeds.
Your journey begins, the andrenalin fuels you
warm hands reassure you.
The decision is taken
And the result is bound
To the conditions, solutions, and timing.
Forecasting the future
Looking at the past failures and sneaking possibilities
Is the talent of the good ones.
I see yellow, you say green
shedding doubts over reason and logic.
Trust yourself and look straigth,
you will not fool yourself again
by wasting time for unrealistic hypothesis
that undermine you
and your mind.
The night comes and the carousel
Of ideas and conjectures
What impossible in the lab during the day
Becomes glamorous and knitted with discovery and potential for the future.
Written down, it will be judged tomorrow
In the sunlight.
Wave on wave
The disruption comes
In seconds or instants
Under my eyes.
Control over it is just fool
And no time is left
The few milliliters that make a difference
Make me realize of the importance
of moments and gestures.
Richness and purpose
Can hide in the drops
You don’t consider.
Today, like a raindrop,
I dal through my life.
I am attracted by the difficult
and unexplored territories.
I will shout in my pot of gold
And wait for a white rabbit to pass by
And enquire me.
The day starts with a late awakening,
With purchasing the wrong ticket,
And forgetting the breakfast.
The day of planned success
Begins with the fog and chaos
Of the Monday mind.
Commas and digits describe my day
Typing and aligning
Tasks of different value.
Tasks to connect dots
That take me forward
And draw the borders of tomorrow.
At My desk I protect myself
With a broad screen and massive keyboard
But crazy ideas and hurry penetrate
Just to make me enjoy my coffee more.
My mind drives away
while results and errors are projected
connceting the points of a young scientific career.
A spark strikes and I can help,
the day is rich.
Heat flashes and palpitations,
Sweaty palms and anger,
Is it menopause or group meeting?
The extremities of biology
Summarize the extreme of human dynamics.
A Low Energy transfer
Of projects and results
Streams through the lab
Engulfing the ideas at the benches.
It has reached now its maximum
And bloomed in a rich
And vibrant plan
For the most elegant experiment.
Under pressure we remove
The bacteria that harm our experiment
For the coming investigation.
A whisper tells me
the solutions address ready
For hosting the mutant cells
And trigger the fluorescence.
My kcat lingers today
And an extra effort is needed to reach the bus
Under the intense rain.
I will reach out for distractions
And unavailable hugs.
Like in a movie,
Bad news and waterdrops holds hands
Waiting for time to pass.
Work seems from a challenging hobby,
A hunt for a treasure few have seen.
The treasure is a sealed bottle
Lying under nitrogen in a closed hood
With no label.
Only the brave will reach it
And recognize its value,
And break the seal.
Stand up and go
Your idea is leading you.
You will figures out the steps
Under the light of excitement
Day by day.
The question that woke you up
Will come back in your head
And hunt you
Until you can reach the full stop.
This is the fun and the essence of research.
Alone in silence
I stare at my samples
All lined up and ready to prove themselves
Like little timid soldiers.
Here is the trumpet, with its sharp and energetic sound
And here are the soldiers
Running blindly to their position.
As a human chain, they are the steps
Making the golden path
That leads to an undiscovered forest.
Excited for a new email
I see you staning waiting in the folder
and hardly resists from opening you.
Sadly your length deprives me from the joy
and your tone makes my brain angry
as I read through the lines manipulation and frustration.
Holding the worst of my pens,
a rush of adrenalin takes me
and the craziest of the experiments is designed.
Steps are simplified,
and pride in the elegance of the solution fills me
and brings a timid smile to my lips,
Has anybody seen me?
They will see the manuscript.
My bench is a cliff
On the conflicting sea of research.
Waves surprise the interns
On their journey to the land of skills.
Cold winds overtake the students
Who battle between confidence and learning.
Monsters spin the scientists around
Who lose their orientation
But keep their feet on the ground
And rebuild their independence and specialty
From the inside.
Planning of mutations
Brings me back to childhood and playing with Lego.
Will this small brick be able to support the castle?
Will this extra arginine pimp this enzyme?
Mutagenesis plays by the rules of nature
And smiles at evolution,
Embarrassed by its small efforts
Towards lab-scale successes.
Anger and rage
For wasted hateful words
That refer to a reality that does not exist.
Being polemic is like venting
And possibly relaxes the mouth and the brain
Of the unfaithful
While pushing him away
from the school of the clever fishes.
The DNA is a evanescent drop
Of a water-like liquid
At the top of the eppy.
Stubborn and robust
It can stand there and watch the ages pass.
A minuscule change today
will change its meaning
Will give it a new purpose and a new life.
Possibilities are open once small changes are made.
Spin spin spin and I lay it down
To rest on the bench
Among the forest of bottles
Filled with exact brilliant liquids.
You will see it tomorrow
To step together forward
A science of surprise and activity.
Letter by letter
I label the tubes with my precious DNA
And stare and my young fingers
That jump and dance
With click click and uh uh.
Popping eppies brings a laugh
to the girls in the lab
tip tapping by the centrifuge.
Always in a rush,
I forget the scope of this travel
Is it meeting experts?
Is it showing my results?
Is it getting out of the office?
questions complicated this job
and irrational results fig the
already competitive and illogic way
In which a career in science proceeds.