Communication is a word understood
Buy all but always in a personal way.
I thrive for communicating smartly
And you lose yourself in intro and acknowledgments,
Slowly building distance and disrespect.
The air gets dense
and the faces tense in masked attention.
In the dark I wake up
Hoping for a day of laughter and lightness
In front of the screen, behind the cubicle.
Nobody wants to offer their energy to the group
And unconsciously waits for the good Samaritan.
Come to work to get and grab
And not to give
You might preserve your inner balance
You lose a day to enjoy.
What holds me back
Has no hands and no reason.
In my belly a fear and a spasm.
From true dedication,
there came disappointment
Dressed in targets and evaluations.
No belly tells lies.
Negotiations as the currency
to reach the evening.
Not aiming to the best
but to the compromise
Makes the effort easier and more at reach
But the satisfaction sighs
And only a long term vision
Of data under the blue light
Or of people
Under the academic pressure
Doesn’t need to be taught.
You step in the room
To join a discussion that lost its value
The project was planned long ago
By someone not around anymore
So no space for variation is allowed,
You wander what’s the purpose
And why to bother.
Is this research?
Lists lead the way
When tasks add up and the schedule is busy.
Meetings translate in lists
And agendas become tasks.
Ideas in a row
and hands catch the rhythm
Going through the list
That details the open questions of the day,