Fascinated by the job,
Addicted to the visuals.
I enter the loop and get lost
In my mental starry sky.
At the desk I can travel,
Learn insane details,
Join futuristic communities
And nobody notices
I am absent,
Yet still sitting.
Tag: phd
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PhD ending
Few questions
and the stomach in the rollercoaster
Will summarise years in the lab
And ideas coming unattended
In the night, on a hike, talking.
A chapter closes and
Yet many answers are just blank spaces.
The value for a society
Are condensed in words
For an elite.
Burning in/out
Noise and broken sentences
Crawl in my mind
Worrying why the job I used to enjoy
Is now a reason off dark dreams and tears.
Have I seen a part of it that disgusts me?
Is it just this broken environment I am in?
Is it inside me? Is it the situation?
I reject the whole package
And my life gets impossible,
and gets on.
Crash in the lab
The echo of clashing experiments
Fills the lab on this windy day.
The dream result
has left everybody standing speechless
And everybody with a broken heart
after days of efforts.
Impulses take over and the youngs predict a ruin
While the seniors know
Another hunt had just started.
Protein cartoons
A mute film goes on in my mind
Where the next experiment is enacted
And proteins jump and roll
Under the perfect light
On the thinnest of the cellulose fibres.
The behaviour is unpredictable,
A moody twist of the binding
Produces a loss and a dramatic inactivity.
The tiny acrobat has fallen
But not without living an imaginary event
Of high potential for science
And of fascinating cartoonish drama for me.
Paint brush
Think about tomorrow
Push your imagination forward
Towards what is possible,
You read it somewhere,
And turn your desired into an image.
Stand up and find your brush
Your paint and your invisible mantle
And start to make it happen.
One inch every day.
Stairs 2
A stream of endorfins
Sweeps me away
When I glance the results.
Enough to make the day
Precious
Although at the first step
Of the longest stairs.
Career and life.
Ignite
Words in a stream
Full the room and the heart of the scientist
When the unknown is the destination
And our hands the means.
Curious like kittens
And smart like bees
Scientists get ignited
And the hunt starts.
Attraction
Shiny as polished
Glassware waits for me
And the colourful protein solutions
Of today.
Swimming and swirling
In their soup
Proteins arrange and interact
Like people in crowded squares
Showing uncontrollable attraction.
Forecast
Research Planning is forecasting
What shines on that crucial moment
When your hands start moving
And your mind keeps quiet
For once
To follow the steps of the protocol
You wrote.
Sunday evening
Each second a treasure
On Sunday evening
When the outside goes dark
And the sofa is what counts.
No space for worries
No space for proteins
No space for experiments
In the present.
Justification
Great ideas do not need justifications
In an ideal world
We belong to,
But too far away
From the research world.
Pro and cons of my possible next brilliant step
Crowd my head
While I have to invent also
The next ideal justification.
BrushStrokes
Details are in the corners
And in the last strokes of the brush
To complete the aquarello
When nobody is watching.
Sitting at the desk
The many experiments transform
Fusing in a single story
Whose last slow details
Make me feel unique.
Synthetic biology
Hit after hit
The pathways are built
With their different speed
And gates.
Easy to simulate and assemble
Control is the art.
Chessboard
The squares of a chessboard
Assemble in my head
and rank equally important
Yet necessary and unique.
Experiments to answer doubts
And to move a bit the border of knowledge
Take my day
And fill my heart.
Train
Cuddling train you take me and my poster
Silently and smoothly
Where I dream to go
And add trepidation and glitter
To this trip of science
And discoveries.
Slope
Standing on a steep slope
Makes your muscles tense
And your mind alert
Yet the direction to take is unclear
And certainly tiring.
Looking down into the ease,
The fear of a quick trip to disengagement
Sets in.
Looking up into the unknown,
Tickles my neurons and starts a small blue flame,
But the climb will make my body sore.
Conference
Research is in your hands,
In your mind,
In your feet.
It takes you traveling in the world of unheard ideas
And to places of gathering
Where running free and drawing visions
Is the rule.
Stars
Polka dots and stars
Start to decorate my labbooks
And cheer up days full of expectation
Until the holidays
And the final answer that only repetitions can confirm.
Water
My eyes have become lazy
Scrutinizing the day
for a glimpse of the future.
Active streams and imaginary flights
It is a hard job with sweaty palms
bringing the lost stream
To an inner silent spring.
Draw
Lost in the books
Swimming through the pages
Breathing my notes
I oxygenate the mind
To draw the contour of a future experiment
And isolate the daily adventures to give it life.
Dichotomy
Lazy body and crowded mind
Make my person a dichotomy
With zeds from my feet
And sparks from my hair.
Silence and mental traveling
Stir my energy like a cocktail
And equilibrium is found
For now.
Foggy
Holding my shoulders tight
In the foggy late evening
I look behind
And every little act seems far
Yet crucial and painful.
The bonus ahead promises a rollercoaster
Of laughters and jumps forwards
To write a new chapter.
Monday
On Monday, you start slow
you sit at your desk and think
where to put your time
and your attention
not to lose the smile of the weekend.
Solution 2
Mixing and stirring
I introduce chaos and
I pace the event
To give the world a new solution
And a stepping stone to this long experiment.
New
There yellow leaves
Are the real deadline
For closing the project
And opening the new page,
The new labbook.
Staring out there window
New hypotheses appear
And the journey begins.
Uneasy
A General uneasiness takes me
In this situation of peace and boredom
But the reason is unknown
And the real laughter is hiding still.
Balloon
In the big glass balloon
I partition with patience
The rich mysterious solution
To uncover the molecule
Peeking from the liquid
And learn science and myself
At each step.
Perspective
Signs of age, symptoms of the changing time
Recur unexpected through my day
Shedding a cold perspective
On my actions and reality
I cannot always see.
Elegance
The candid dove of experimental design flies in
And shows to all the way
To elegance and beauty
Of working in the lab
everyday.
Pre-presentation
Giant and buffing the monster has me
Again at the door of the achievement.
His presence fills my room
And lays imperfections on my slides
Of no importance
While others breath freedom.
Lens
Tapping on the floor
I pace the value of my time
And train my patience.
External observers can judge my work
And evaluate my knowledge
Like a rough diamond under the lens
But no eye can know it all.
Way
Everything is possible
Yet the way had to be chosen
Based on a idealized arrival city.
Flipping a coin or following the heart
Are equal when the attitude decides
If it will reason or shine sun.
Killed
Curiosity killed the cat
And the researcher who bravely
Made long term plans
Seeking explanations to a phenomenon.
The three year long project killed the curiosity.
Masts
Oscillating masts
Remind me the turbulence
of the daily life
When holding to the surface
Pushes you forward
And keeps your eyes on the horizon.
Move
Chin up and looking far
I direct my slow first step.
Shaky for fear but confident and hopeful
It happens
And the situation has already changed.
Don’t think, just move.
Univ
Hormones in the air and tick-eting laptops
Behind coffee cups
Tell me this is university and anything is possible.
Young questions are possible
and always waiting for you
If your heart does not reach adulthood.
Echoes
My inner valley is crowded
Of angry and righteous echoes
But no exit is found
And the energy builds up
To feed stubbornness and mental rollercoasters.
The exit is found and the gate is open
Over a profound burst of power.
Shield
Caught up by the lab turmoil
I end up in situations I can’t control
And do not realize.
Taken by surprise
Rapidly search for my thin shield
When a sword would be my choice.
Ah ah
Everybody laughs and dies a bit inside
Thanks to your loud senseless sexist humor.
Many makes can stupidity have
Yours is comedy,
The lowest one
With no imagination or word game.
An airy circle will form
Around you
Amber I will watch it.
Chair
My brain figuratively sits
On a wooden chair in the back of my head
And stares around
To acknowledge the reality and the dynamics
In front of its feet.
Relaxation comes, as energy at a minimum
Is necessary during the day.
Fire
When the fear sets in
Reasoning is a far weak flame
Fighting timid to set a luminous fire
To restore control and confidence.
Patience and focus are rewarded.
Northern
Hypnotized by the changing lights
I forget this is a meeting
And dream of northern lights
And traveling north
to the land where I am asexual
And my words build my credibility.
Intuition
Respecting your will
I challenge my view of science
and bring the analyses to the extreme.
Intuition stems for a deep preparation
and hard years shine in an instant.
Awe
Pretty of scientific doubts
I lie thoughtless in the office,
Where are my results?
Are they meaningful?
Imaging reviews and critical questions,
My whole theory collapses
in fear and awe
While doubting myself.
2 October, 2016 11:34
Steps
Go far and you will find
Your question mark
To haunt.
Adrenaline and fear will rush
While your steps will start
To be longer and longer
For a closer and closer
Destination of clarity.
No
Flowers and light in a ray
decorate my corner
bringing life in an office of intensity and cramps.
Learning the antique art
of pronouncing monosyllables
I forecast a bright future and move the first step
pink revolution
Pink and purple
will invest my office like a breeze
or warmth and freespeech.
Innovation starts by doing things differently
and no greyzone is allowed
in my timid heart and brave mind.