Regular and precise
Like a shiny Salt Crystal
Feel the changes in the air around me.
Melting away I let my energy spread
While strongly I hold on to the skills and ideas
Hiding inside but not vanishing.
Noise and broken sentences
Crawl in my mind
Worrying why the job I used to enjoy
Is now a reason off dark dreams and tears.
Have I seen a part of it that disgusts me?
Is it just this broken environment I am in?
Is it inside me? Is it the situation?
I reject the whole package
And my life gets impossible,
and gets on.
The invisible fragments
Swim free in pure sterile water
Ready for the magic.
The monstrous plasmid is coming
and the reaction will start
Hot, agitated, repetitive.
A single mutation will change the course of the experiment.
A tiny step of in vitro evolution.
I see yellow, you say green
shedding doubts over reason and logic.
Trust yourself and look straigth,
you will not fool yourself again
by wasting time for unrealistic hypothesis
that undermine you
and your mind.
The few milliliters that make a difference
Make me realize of the importance
of moments and gestures.
Richness and purpose
Can hide in the drops
You don’t consider.
Commas and digits describe my day
Typing and aligning
Tasks of different value.
Tasks to connect dots
That take me forward
And draw the borders of tomorrow.
Heat flashes and palpitations,
Sweaty palms and anger,
Is it menopause or group meeting?
The extremities of biology
Summarize the extreme of human dynamics.
A Low Energy transfer
Of projects and results
Streams through the lab
Engulfing the ideas at the benches.
It has reached now its maximum
And bloomed in a rich
And vibrant plan
For the most elegant experiment.
My kcat lingers today
And an extra effort is needed to reach the bus
Under the intense rain.
I will reach out for distractions
And unavailable hugs.
Like in a movie,
Bad news and waterdrops holds hands
Waiting for time to pass.
Work seems from a challenging hobby,
A hunt for a treasure few have seen.
The treasure is a sealed bottle
Lying under nitrogen in a closed hood
With no label.
Only the brave will reach it
And recognize its value,
And break the seal.
Holding the worst of my pens,
a rush of adrenalin takes me
and the craziest of the experiments is designed.
Steps are simplified,
and pride in the elegance of the solution fills me
and brings a timid smile to my lips,
Has anybody seen me?
They will see the manuscript.
My bench is a cliff
On the conflicting sea of research.
Waves surprise the interns
On their journey to the land of skills.
Cold winds overtake the students
Who battle between confidence and learning.
Monsters spin the scientists around
Who lose their orientation
But keep their feet on the ground
And rebuild their independence and specialty
From the inside.
Anger and rage
For wasted hateful words
That refer to a reality that does not exist.
Being polemic is like venting
And possibly relaxes the mouth and the brain
Of the unfaithful
While pushing him away
from the school of the clever fishes.
Letter by letter
I label the tubes with my precious DNA
And stare and my young fingers
That jump and dance
With click click and uh uh.
Popping eppies brings a laugh
to the girls in the lab
tip tapping by the centrifuge.
Always in a rush,
I forget the scope of this travel
Is it meeting experts?
Is it showing my results?
Is it getting out of the office?
questions complicated this job
and irrational results fig the
already competitive and illogic way
In which a career in science proceeds.
Research means being surrounded
by dozens of smart active people
That invade your territory
Behind your bench, your shaker, your drawer.
They constantly also invade your mind
Your assumptions, your projections, your life.
Growing with your experiments
You leave the door open to being changed
and to evolve into an adult
and intro a doctor at the same time.
You can do it I in a blink,
Well and structured you can perform.
Your body however tells you no.
You mind will like it, it is a certain ego booster
But your inside is tired and wants a deeper reason
A social value and human contact.
What to choose? What is better?
You are not ready to say it out loud,
Waiting for that moment.
Tip tip tip
Eppy Eppy Eppy
The sounds of a good day in the lab.
I fold and bend
Adapting to your wishes
Changing my project to for your strategy
Suggesting your strategy to for my project.
A swan, a rose, a snake
I transform and lose myself
Where did I go? Who am I?
You don’t care and I have to transform for a last time to be myself.
Innovation is bitter and painful like acupuncture
But surprises you on your way
Bringing sunlight and excitement.
Imaging the many roads opening at your feet
And your first check
Adds a brilliant nuance to the repetitive
Mindless work in front of you today.
Doubts and dream taste the same today.
Behind my screen
A little red-haired girl sits and calculates
The results of a decisive experiment.
Little smiles appear sometimes
together with the fast movements
of her hand.
An hectic Typing tells me she likes the risk
Of a complex high-potential experiment
And already tastes the sweet flavor of discovery.
Magazines with clothes and fashions
accumulate fast on my table
as the reading is quick and big images fill my eyes.
Their suggestions for my life
do not go very far.
Dense articles with complex images
remain in my mind and raise questions
days after having them in my hands.
The story is finally here,
the results align and indicate the direction,
I will follow it with my research and my life.
Fearless and shy, proud and blushing,
my door is opening.
I curiously stare the shiny bottles and the silver spoons
that on my bench eagerly lie.
Alone in the lab I wonder my future and my decisions,
everybody says I can do it,
I want to believe it for myself,
for my tomorrows,
for a easier life one day.
I thus push myself every single day
say yes when a no is reasonable
and lend a hand when tired I dream of home.
Today I will tell the story
Of the protein lost in a gel.
Although very light-hearted,
She was forced to migrate
down down down.
When at rest,
She started to feel blue
And felt her run was over.