Regular and precise
Like a shiny Salt Crystal
Feel the changes in the air around me.
Melting away I let my energy spread
While strongly I hold on to the skills and ideas
Hiding inside but not vanishing.
Noise and broken sentences
Crawl in my mind
Worrying why the job I used to enjoy
Is now a reason off dark dreams and tears.
Have I seen a part of it that disgusts me?
Is it just this broken environment I am in?
Is it inside me? Is it the situation?
I reject the whole package
And my life gets impossible,
and gets on.
Tapping on the floor
I pace the value of my time
And train my patience.
External observers can judge my work
And evaluate my knowledge
Like a rough diamond under the lens
But no eye can know it all.
Caught up by the lab turmoil
I end up in situations I can’t control
And do not realize.
Taken by surprise
Rapidly search for my thin shield
When a sword would be my choice.
My brain figuratively sits
On a wooden chair in the back of my head
And stares around
To acknowledge the reality and the dynamics
In front of its feet.
Relaxation comes, as energy at a minimum
Is necessary during the day.
When the fear sets in
Reasoning is a far weak flame
Fighting timid to set a luminous fire
To restore control and confidence.
Patience and focus are rewarded.
Hypnotized by the changing lights
I forget this is a meeting
And dream of northern lights
And traveling north
to the land where I am asexual
And my words build my credibility.
Words come out and silence enters
liberating the energy and welcoming the confidence.
Public speaking is a walk
in the land of thorns and poppy seeds.
Your journey begins, the andrenalin fuels you
warm hands reassure you.
I see yellow, you say green
shedding doubts over reason and logic.
Trust yourself and look straigth,
you will not fool yourself again
by wasting time for unrealistic hypothesis
that undermine you
and your mind.
The night comes and the carousel
Of ideas and conjectures
What impossible in the lab during the day
Becomes glamorous and knitted with discovery and potential for the future.
Written down, it will be judged tomorrow
In the sunlight.
Wave on wave
The disruption comes
In seconds or instants
Under my eyes.
Control over it is just fool
And no time is left
The few milliliters that make a difference
Make me realize of the importance
of moments and gestures.
Richness and purpose
Can hide in the drops
You don’t consider.
My heart in my throat
Tells me a danger is at the door
And this warning sign
Shines a blue light over me.
Cold and anxious I wait
For My destiny to come
While meditating and wondering
about my role and power.
The day starts with a late awakening,
With purchasing the wrong ticket,
And forgetting the breakfast.
The day of planned success
Begins with the fog and chaos
Of the Monday mind.
Commas and digits describe my day
Typing and aligning
Tasks of different value.
Tasks to connect dots
That take me forward
And draw the borders of tomorrow.
At My desk I protect myself
With a broad screen and massive keyboard
But crazy ideas and hurry penetrate
Just to make me enjoy my coffee more.
My mind drives away
while results and errors are projected
connceting the points of a young scientific career.
A spark strikes and I can help,
the day is rich.
Heat flashes and palpitations,
Sweaty palms and anger,
Is it menopause or group meeting?
The extremities of biology
Summarize the extreme of human dynamics.
A Low Energy transfer
Of projects and results
Streams through the lab
Engulfing the ideas at the benches.
It has reached now its maximum
And bloomed in a rich
And vibrant plan
For the most elegant experiment.
Under pressure we remove
The bacteria that harm our experiment
For the coming investigation.
A whisper tells me
the solutions address ready
For hosting the mutant cells
And trigger the fluorescence.