Regular and precise
Like a shiny Salt Crystal
Feel the changes in the air around me.
Melting away I let my energy spread
While strongly I hold on to the skills and ideas
Hiding inside but not vanishing.
Noise and broken sentences
Crawl in my mind
Worrying why the job I used to enjoy
Is now a reason off dark dreams and tears.
Have I seen a part of it that disgusts me?
Is it just this broken environment I am in?
Is it inside me? Is it the situation?
I reject the whole package
And my life gets impossible,
and gets on.
Tapping on the floor
I pace the value of my time
And train my patience.
External observers can judge my work
And evaluate my knowledge
Like a rough diamond under the lens
But no eye can know it all.
Caught up by the lab turmoil
I end up in situations I can’t control
And do not realize.
Taken by surprise
Rapidly search for my thin shield
When a sword would be my choice.
When the fear sets in
Reasoning is a far weak flame
Fighting timid to set a luminous fire
To restore control and confidence.
Patience and focus are rewarded.
Hypnotized by the changing lights
I forget this is a meeting
And dream of northern lights
And traveling north
to the land where I am asexual
And my words build my credibility.
Words come out and silence enters
liberating the energy and welcoming the confidence.
Public speaking is a walk
in the land of thorns and poppy seeds.
Your journey begins, the andrenalin fuels you
warm hands reassure you.
I see yellow, you say green
shedding doubts over reason and logic.
Trust yourself and look straigth,
you will not fool yourself again
by wasting time for unrealistic hypothesis
that undermine you
and your mind.
The night comes and the carousel
Of ideas and conjectures
What impossible in the lab during the day
Becomes glamorous and knitted with discovery and potential for the future.
Written down, it will be judged tomorrow
In the sunlight.
Wave on wave
The disruption comes
In seconds or instants
Under my eyes.
Control over it is just fool
And no time is left
The few milliliters that make a difference
Make me realize of the importance
of moments and gestures.
Richness and purpose
Can hide in the drops
You don’t consider.
My heart in my throat
Tells me a danger is at the door
And this warning sign
Shines a blue light over me.
Cold and anxious I wait
For My destiny to come
While meditating and wondering
about my role and power.
The day starts with a late awakening,
With purchasing the wrong ticket,
And forgetting the breakfast.
The day of planned success
Begins with the fog and chaos
Of the Monday mind.
Commas and digits describe my day
Typing and aligning
Tasks of different value.
Tasks to connect dots
That take me forward
And draw the borders of tomorrow.
At My desk I protect myself
With a broad screen and massive keyboard
But crazy ideas and hurry penetrate
Just to make me enjoy my coffee more.
My mind drives away
while results and errors are projected
connceting the points of a young scientific career.
A spark strikes and I can help,
the day is rich.
Heat flashes and palpitations,
Sweaty palms and anger,
Is it menopause or group meeting?
The extremities of biology
Summarize the extreme of human dynamics.
A Low Energy transfer
Of projects and results
Streams through the lab
Engulfing the ideas at the benches.
It has reached now its maximum
And bloomed in a rich
And vibrant plan
For the most elegant experiment.
Under pressure we remove
The bacteria that harm our experiment
For the coming investigation.
A whisper tells me
the solutions address ready
For hosting the mutant cells
And trigger the fluorescence.
My kcat lingers today
And an extra effort is needed to reach the bus
Under the intense rain.
I will reach out for distractions
And unavailable hugs.
Like in a movie,
Bad news and waterdrops holds hands
Waiting for time to pass.
Work seems from a challenging hobby,
A hunt for a treasure few have seen.
The treasure is a sealed bottle
Lying under nitrogen in a closed hood
With no label.
Only the brave will reach it
And recognize its value,
And break the seal.
Stand up and go
Your idea is leading you.
You will figures out the steps
Under the light of excitement
Day by day.
The question that woke you up
Will come back in your head
And hunt you
Until you can reach the full stop.
This is the fun and the essence of research.
Alone in silence
I stare at my samples
All lined up and ready to prove themselves
Like little timid soldiers.
Here is the trumpet, with its sharp and energetic sound
And here are the soldiers
Running blindly to their position.
As a human chain, they are the steps
Making the golden path
That leads to an undiscovered forest.
Excited for a new email
I see you staning waiting in the folder
and hardly resists from opening you.
Sadly your length deprives me from the joy
and your tone makes my brain angry
as I read through the lines manipulation and frustration.
Holding the worst of my pens,
a rush of adrenalin takes me
and the craziest of the experiments is designed.
Steps are simplified,
and pride in the elegance of the solution fills me
and brings a timid smile to my lips,
Has anybody seen me?
They will see the manuscript.
Planning of mutations
Brings me back to childhood and playing with Lego.
Will this small brick be able to support the castle?
Will this extra arginine pimp this enzyme?
Mutagenesis plays by the rules of nature
And smiles at evolution,
Embarrassed by its small efforts
Towards lab-scale successes.
The DNA is a evanescent drop
Of a water-like liquid
At the top of the eppy.
Stubborn and robust
It can stand there and watch the ages pass.
A minuscule change today
will change its meaning
Will give it a new purpose and a new life.
Possibilities are open once small changes are made.
Letter by letter
I label the tubes with my precious DNA
And stare and my young fingers
That jump and dance
With click click and uh uh.
Popping eppies brings a laugh
to the girls in the lab
tip tapping by the centrifuge.
Research means being surrounded
by dozens of smart active people
That invade your territory
Behind your bench, your shaker, your drawer.
They constantly also invade your mind
Your assumptions, your projections, your life.
Growing with your experiments
You leave the door open to being changed
and to evolve into an adult
and intro a doctor at the same time.
You can do it I in a blink,
Well and structured you can perform.
Your body however tells you no.
You mind will like it, it is a certain ego booster
But your inside is tired and wants a deeper reason
A social value and human contact.
What to choose? What is better?
You are not ready to say it out loud,
Waiting for that moment.
Tip tip tip
Eppy Eppy Eppy
The sounds of a good day in the lab.
I fold and bend
Adapting to your wishes
Changing my project to for your strategy
Suggesting your strategy to for my project.
A swan, a rose, a snake
I transform and lose myself
Where did I go? Who am I?
You don’t care and I have to transform for a last time to be myself.
Innovation is bitter and painful like acupuncture
But surprises you on your way
Bringing sunlight and excitement.
Imaging the many roads opening at your feet
And your first check
Adds a brilliant nuance to the repetitive
Mindless work in front of you today.
Doubts and dream taste the same today.
Behind my screen
A little red-haired girl sits and calculates
The results of a decisive experiment.
Little smiles appear sometimes
together with the fast movements
of her hand.
An hectic Typing tells me she likes the risk
Of a complex high-potential experiment
And already tastes the sweet flavor of discovery.
The story is finally here,
the results align and indicate the direction,
I will follow it with my research and my life.
Fearless and shy, proud and blushing,
my door is opening.
I curiously stare the shiny bottles and the silver spoons
that on my bench eagerly lie.
Alone in the lab I wonder my future and my decisions,
everybody says I can do it,
I want to believe it for myself,
for my tomorrows,
for a easier life one day.
I thus push myself every single day
say yes when a no is reasonable
and lend a hand when tired I dream of home.
It suits in my bench
And makes me shiver
by staring at me
In its transparent glass bottle.
For days, for months, for year
I feared the day of its disposal.
It was bottled in a regular November day
That had left no memory
and added no value in my research,
Yet held on to the shelf
And is now a risky business.
The clear liquid in the bottle
Is unknown, old, and mysterious,
It tickles my curiosity and senses
Of touching or smelling
The forbidden drops.
Probably water, ignorance gives it the value of gold
And takes it finally away from me.
Flipping in the chilly wind,
the leaf of success waves at me
and lays a shadow on my face.
Money, recognition, fame and awards
give a successful accent to life
and make you feel unique.
You are not, of course.
This success fades with the time
and the loss of memory in minds and electronics.
To have it always woth you,
success must be satisfaction, motivation and generosity.
Success is seeded in small acts, smiles and contacts
that need long winters to germinate and bloom.
The spring of success comes unannounced,
with the energy of a the sunshine and the green of clovers
moving a smile of epic dimensions.
Today I will tell the story
Of the protein lost in a gel.
Although very light-hearted,
She was forced to migrate
down down down.
When at rest,
She started to feel blue
And felt her run was over.
1. Keep Admiration inside–> avoid talking people how good they are, you are probably better
2. Face reality–> don’t avoid problems, recognize them and, if you cannot solve them, just wait
3. Keep moving even in hard times–> seed today and harvest(celebrate) tomorrow (new motto)
4. Be confident–> never say negative things about yourself, why would you anyway?
5. Keep silent but keep your hands and mind moving –> dropping little breadcrumbs towards your future.
Torn between hating the actions
And appreciating the person
I wonder why what makes a good person
Is so hard to identify.
I see a powerful beautiful woman
In charge of risky businesses
and with heavy on her shoulder
And yet her humanity clashes with her actions.
Work makes us bad people
As it hides our inner flame
Fearing humanity at the workplace?
You run, you calculate,
You change your protocol
To add elegance to your experiment
And yet your voice is not heard.
Glittery shoes and colourful shirts
Cheer up your day
Give you a reason to smile
And fuel your inner motor
And Yet your effort is not valued.
What makes you comfortable
Is rare at work
And your vivid energy within faints
Day by day.
You cry and strive to imagine a future somewhere else
But is it really necessary to abandon your dream?
Why do I feel alone
When sitting in meetings
Had long been a mystery.
Curly and pretty,
Charming and over-achieving,
Meticulous and high-performing
No other woman is at the table
To share a smile
Giggle at huge error bars
Join efforts toward waved of testosterone.
This quiet my voice
Makes my feet shake
And frees my mind
To imagine other worlds
where I would feel comfortable
Raising my hands
Expressing my opinion
Asking for what I deserve.
I sit in the bus
Everyday dreaming of arriving to the lab
At the light’s speed.
Butterflies in my stomach
Reminds me of the experiment
that went on over night
And is waiting for me
These are the Signs of a happy enzyme
in an active mood
I can’t wait to see.
You say it is running
While you restlessly stand by the machine
that cycles and repeats elementary steps
That revolutionized biology few years ago.
As Stuck in a spinning wheel,
Hot and cold flashes alternate themselves
To make different enzymes at ease
And multiply little molecules with a precious message.
Millions of shiny balls
Bounce within my head
Drawing never-seen-before trajectories
Connecting points of questions
with faraway points of solutions.
Another sip sharpens the edges of the picture
And Injects energy into an excited system
In which the unsolved issued of today
Are paired with visionary reasonable answers.
A third sip raises the enthalpy
Enough to direct my hand on the paper
Drive the pen to visualize the solutions on the white background
And communicate the discovery
To enrich of a tiny bit the community.
In the Chaos of My bench
I find an old sample
With its dated label and preserved content
Shines light on my old dreams
And unsolved mysteries
few years ago
This was the key
The culprit of my living project
Deeming my success or failure.
It was hidden
Got dust and paler
Lost its value
But not to me.
It taught me a lesson
Opened a new direction
To my career and I opened the door to the unpredictable
And still live in its radiating shadow.
A conference room
brings your wildest scientific dreams in focus
While recharging your batteries.
That faint question mark in the back of your mind
Comes forward and expands
Into detailed defined questions
You will pursue
Step by step
once back at your desk.
Sitting in the chilly room
Packed with senior profs and grey heads
I question my way and my judgment of s success.
Confident within a suit
They paint their vision and provide solutions
To nobody’s questions
In the narrowest of the scientific alleys.