The sun rises slow
And weak
In the cold mornings of walking solo.
My desk awaits me,
My family demands a warm hand,
My time is split
With sorrow and pride.
Tag: STEM
Mixology
I mix my dreams with my loved ones
And try to paint a picture of harmony.
Work and life,
Food and acceptance,
Love and ambition,
Balance and moving forward
Delimit my way.
Crystal
Regular and precise
Like a shiny Salt Crystal
Feel the changes in the air around me.
Melting away I let my energy spread
While strongly I hold on to the skills and ideas
Hiding inside but not vanishing.
Burning in/out
Noise and broken sentences
Crawl in my mind
Worrying why the job I used to enjoy
Is now a reason off dark dreams and tears.
Have I seen a part of it that disgusts me?
Is it just this broken environment I am in?
Is it inside me? Is it the situation?
I reject the whole package
And my life gets impossible,
and gets on.
Mutagenesis
The invisible fragments
Swim free in pure sterile water
Ready for the magic.
The monstrous plasmid is coming
and the reaction will start
Hot, agitated, repetitive.
A single mutation will change the course of the experiment.
A tiny step of in vitro evolution.
8 April, 2017 18:06
Lab lamp
In the dark of the lab
My results come to life,
Fluorescent lines under the lamp.
Loneliness and suspense
Are my companions
Until the story can be told.
Theory for success
I know the theory very well,
What to is best to say
How to stand
And the way to behave.
Theory will give it all to me,
You say,
But it does not feel right.
I will find the theory for me
Looking inside.
Maybe no career, maybe only truth.
Proceedings and pausing
You can pause for a day, a week,
And nobody sees your standing.
You alone Are creating.
Your mind, your imagination
Is processing yours next steps
And gluing together your achievements.
What comes next is in the picture
But still unfocused
until your superpowers
Are redefined.
Thank you
Thank you for the music
That paced my moves and my moonwalks
Through the lab.
Thank you for the space
That rapidly filled with ingredients
of unheard potions.
Thank me for my energy
That gave hypotheses a room in this world
And for my vision
That saw the value of a future step
In a lonely direction.
Elegance
The candid dove of experimental design flies in
And shows to all the way
To elegance and beauty
Of working in the lab
everyday.
Lens
Tapping on the floor
I pace the value of my time
And train my patience.
External observers can judge my work
And evaluate my knowledge
Like a rough diamond under the lens
But no eye can know it all.
Shield
Caught up by the lab turmoil
I end up in situations I can’t control
And do not realize.
Taken by surprise
Rapidly search for my thin shield
When a sword would be my choice.
Ah ah
Everybody laughs and dies a bit inside
Thanks to your loud senseless sexist humor.
Many makes can stupidity have
Yours is comedy,
The lowest one
With no imagination or word game.
An airy circle will form
Around you
Amber I will watch it.
Fire
When the fear sets in
Reasoning is a far weak flame
Fighting timid to set a luminous fire
To restore control and confidence.
Patience and focus are rewarded.
Northern
Hypnotized by the changing lights
I forget this is a meeting
And dream of northern lights
And traveling north
to the land where I am asexual
And my words build my credibility.
Awe
Pretty of scientific doubts
I lie thoughtless in the office,
Where are my results?
Are they meaningful?
Imaging reviews and critical questions,
My whole theory collapses
in fear and awe
While doubting myself.
pink revolution
Pink and purple
will invest my office like a breeze
or warmth and freespeech.
Innovation starts by doing things differently
and no greyzone is allowed
in my timid heart and brave mind.
Sunset
The sun sets on my labbook
Even today
When streams of numbers and
Tangles of lines
Drew a new panorama
Made of lights and surprise
for my lifelong hypothesis.
public speaking
Words come out and silence enters
liberating the energy and welcoming the confidence.
Public speaking is a walk
in the land of thorns and poppy seeds.
Your journey begins, the andrenalin fuels you
warm hands reassure you.
nm
I see yellow, you say green
shedding doubts over reason and logic.
Trust yourself and look straigth,
you will not fool yourself again
by wasting time for unrealistic hypothesis
that undermine you
and your mind.
At night
The night comes and the carousel
Of ideas and conjectures
Starts spinning.
What impossible in the lab during the day
Becomes glamorous and knitted with discovery and potential for the future.
Written down, it will be judged tomorrow
In the sunlight.
Sonicator
Wave on wave
The disruption comes
In seconds or instants
Under my eyes.
Control over it is just fool
And no time is left
To waste.
mL
The few milliliters that make a difference
Make me realize of the importance
of moments and gestures.
Richness and purpose
Can hide in the drops
You don’t consider.
Sitting
Today, like a raindrop,
I dal through my life.
I am attracted by the difficult
and unexplored territories.
I will shout in my pot of gold
And wait for a white rabbit to pass by
And enquire me.
Monday chaos
The day starts with a late awakening,
With purchasing the wrong ticket,
And forgetting the breakfast.
The day of planned success
Begins with the fog and chaos
Of the Monday mind.
Dots
Commas and digits describe my day
Typing and aligning
Tasks of different value.
Tasks to connect dots
That take me forward
And draw the borders of tomorrow.
Enjoy more
At My desk I protect myself
With a broad screen and massive keyboard
But crazy ideas and hurry penetrate
At moments
Just to make me enjoy my coffee more.
Slides
My mind drives away
while results and errors are projected
connceting the points of a young scientific career.
A spark strikes and I can help,
the day is rich.
21 September, 2016 11:29
Menopause
Heat flashes and palpitations,
Sweaty palms and anger,
Is it menopause or group meeting?
The extremities of biology
Summarize the extreme of human dynamics.
Energy bloom
A Low Energy transfer
Of projects and results
Streams through the lab
Engulfing the ideas at the benches.
It has reached now its maximum
And bloomed in a rich
And vibrant plan
For the most elegant experiment.
Autoclave
Under pressure we remove
The bacteria that harm our experiment
With enthusiasm
For the coming investigation.
A whisper tells me
the solutions address ready
For hosting the mutant cells
And trigger the fluorescence.
Bad news and kcat
My kcat lingers today
And an extra effort is needed to reach the bus
Under the intense rain.
I will reach out for distractions
And unavailable hugs.
Like in a movie,
Bad news and waterdrops holds hands
Waiting for time to pass.
Hunting
Work seems from a challenging hobby,
A hunt for a treasure few have seen.
The treasure is a sealed bottle
Lying under nitrogen in a closed hood
With no label.
Only the brave will reach it
And recognize its value,
And break the seal.
The essence
Stand up and go
Your idea is leading you.
You will figures out the steps
Under the light of excitement
Day by day.
The question that woke you up
Will come back in your head
And hunt you
Until you can reach the full stop.
This is the fun and the essence of research.
Did you hear the trumpet?
Alone in silence
I stare at my samples
All lined up and ready to prove themselves
Like little timid soldiers.
Here is the trumpet, with its sharp and energetic sound
And here are the soldiers
Running blindly to their position.
As a human chain, they are the steps
Making the golden path
That leads to an undiscovered forest.
Bad email
Excited for a new email
I see you staning waiting in the folder
and hardly resists from opening you.
Sadly your length deprives me from the joy
and your tone makes my brain angry
as I read through the lines manipulation and frustration.
Adrenalin
Holding the worst of my pens,
a rush of adrenalin takes me
and the craziest of the experiments is designed.
Steps are simplified,
and pride in the elegance of the solution fills me
and brings a timid smile to my lips,
Has anybody seen me?
They will see the manuscript.
DNA evolution
Planning of mutations
Brings me back to childhood and playing with Lego.
Will this small brick be able to support the castle?
Will this extra arginine pimp this enzyme?
Mutagenesis plays by the rules of nature
And smiles at evolution,
Embarrassed by its small efforts
Towards lab-scale successes.
Evolution in vitro
The DNA is a evanescent drop
Of a water-like liquid
At the top of the eppy.
Stubborn and robust
It can stand there and watch the ages pass.
A minuscule change today
will change its meaning
Will give it a new purpose and a new life.
Possibilities are open once small changes are made.
Tip tapping
Letter by letter
I label the tubes with my precious DNA
And stare and my young fingers
That jump and dance
With click click and uh uh.
Popping eppies brings a laugh
to the girls in the lab
tip tapping by the centrifuge.
PhD
Research means being surrounded
by dozens of smart active people
That invade your territory
Behind your bench, your shaker, your drawer.
They constantly also invade your mind
Your assumptions, your projections, your life.
Growing with your experiments
You leave the door open to being changed
and to evolve into an adult
and intro a doctor at the same time.
Choices are tough
You can do it I in a blink,
Well and structured you can perform.
Your body however tells you no.
You mind will like it, it is a certain ego booster
But your inside is tired and wants a deeper reason
A social value and human contact.
What to choose? What is better?
You are not ready to say it out loud,
Waiting for that moment.
Sounds
Tip tip tip
Eppy Eppy Eppy
The sounds of a good day in the lab.
Origa-me boss
I fold and bend
Adapting to your wishes
Changing my project to for your strategy
Suggesting your strategy to for my project.
A swan, a rose, a snake
I transform and lose myself
Where did I go? Who am I?
You don’t care and I have to transform for a last time to be myself.
Innovate
Innovation is bitter and painful like acupuncture
But surprises you on your way
Bringing sunlight and excitement.
Imaging the many roads opening at your feet
And your first check
Adds a brilliant nuance to the repetitive
Mindless work in front of you today.
Doubts and dream taste the same today.
Marianne
Behind my screen
A little red-haired girl sits and calculates
The results of a decisive experiment.
Little smiles appear sometimes
together with the fast movements
of her hand.
An hectic Typing tells me she likes the risk
Of a complex high-potential experiment
And already tastes the sweet flavor of discovery.
I can
The story is finally here,
the results align and indicate the direction,
I will follow it with my research and my life.
Fearless and shy, proud and blushing,
my door is opening.
First apprenticeship day
I curiously stare the shiny bottles and the silver spoons
that on my bench eagerly lie.
Alone in the lab I wonder my future and my decisions,
everybody says I can do it,
I want to believe it for myself,
for my tomorrows,
for a easier life one day.
I thus push myself every single day
say yes when a no is reasonable
and lend a hand when tired I dream of home.