The sun rises slow
And weak
In the cold mornings of walking solo.
My desk awaits me,
My family demands a warm hand,
My time is split
With sorrow and pride.
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Tag: STEM
I mix my dreams with my loved ones
And try to paint a picture of harmony.
Work and life,
Food and acceptance,
Love and ambition,
Balance and moving forward
Delimit my way.
Regular and precise
Like a shiny Salt Crystal
Feel the changes in the air around me.
Melting away I let my energy spread
While strongly I hold on to the skills and ideas
Hiding inside but not vanishing.
Noise and broken sentences
Crawl in my mind
Worrying why the job I used to enjoy
Is now a reason off dark dreams and tears.
Have I seen a part of it that disgusts me?
Is it just this broken environment I am in?
Is it inside me? Is it the situation?
I reject the whole package
And my life gets impossible,
and gets on.
The invisible fragments
Swim free in pure sterile water
Ready for the magic.
The monstrous plasmid is coming
and the reaction will start
Hot, agitated, repetitive.
A single mutation will change the course of the experiment.
A tiny step of in vitro evolution.
Your voice might be short and squeaky
And gently fall prey to louder opinions,
Yet your words are equal.
In the dark of the lab
My results come to life,
Fluorescent lines under the lamp.
Loneliness and suspense
Are my companions
Until the story can be told.
Hard and strong like a Kernel
In the stream of the competition
That science has become.
Floating or settling
Talking or observing
I learn to alternate the powers
While the target slowly fades.
I know the theory very well,
What to is best to say
How to stand
And the way to behave.
Theory will give it all to me,
You say,
But it does not feel right.
I will find the theory for me
Looking inside.
Maybe no career, maybe only truth.
You can pause for a day, a week,
And nobody sees your standing.
You alone Are creating.
Your mind, your imagination
Is processing yours next steps
And gluing together your achievements.
What comes next is in the picture
But still unfocused
until your superpowers
Are redefined.
Career as a gloomy destiny
And a sweaty work to do.
The stress of articles
Highlighting its importance
Demotivate me
And put water on the burning glamour
of living in the lab.
What is fun and pleasure
Has to be a smart move.
I refuse.
Thank you for the music
That paced my moves and my moonwalks
Through the lab.
Thank you for the space
That rapidly filled with ingredients
of unheard potions.
Thank me for my energy
That gave hypotheses a room in this world
And for my vision
That saw the value of a future step
In a lonely direction.
The candid dove of experimental design flies in
And shows to all the way
To elegance and beauty
Of working in the lab
everyday.
Tapping on the floor
I pace the value of my time
And train my patience.
External observers can judge my work
And evaluate my knowledge
Like a rough diamond under the lens
But no eye can know it all.