The sun rises slow
And weak
In the cold mornings of walking solo.
My desk awaits me,
My family demands a warm hand,
My time is split
With sorrow and pride.
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Tag: STEM
I mix my dreams with my loved ones
And try to paint a picture of harmony.
Work and life,
Food and acceptance,
Love and ambition,
Balance and moving forward
Delimit my way.
Regular and precise
Like a shiny Salt Crystal
Feel the changes in the air around me.
Melting away I let my energy spread
While strongly I hold on to the skills and ideas
Hiding inside but not vanishing.
Noise and broken sentences
Crawl in my mind
Worrying why the job I used to enjoy
Is now a reason off dark dreams and tears.
Have I seen a part of it that disgusts me?
Is it just this broken environment I am in?
Is it inside me? Is it the situation?
I reject the whole package
And my life gets impossible,
and gets on.
The invisible fragments
Swim free in pure sterile water
Ready for the magic.
The monstrous plasmid is coming
and the reaction will start
Hot, agitated, repetitive.
A single mutation will change the course of the experiment.
A tiny step of in vitro evolution.
Your voice might be short and squeaky
And gently fall prey to louder opinions,
Yet your words are equal.
In the dark of the lab
My results come to life,
Fluorescent lines under the lamp.
Loneliness and suspense
Are my companions
Until the story can be told.
Hard and strong like a Kernel
In the stream of the competition
That science has become.
Floating or settling
Talking or observing
I learn to alternate the powers
While the target slowly fades.
I know the theory very well,
What to is best to say
How to stand
And the way to behave.
Theory will give it all to me,
You say,
But it does not feel right.
I will find the theory for me
Looking inside.
Maybe no career, maybe only truth.