I smiling enter the tunnel
of fantastic travels
And uninhibited thoughts
While the wet really condenses around me.
The minutes dilate
And the day got a its golden star
Your opinion is loud in your head
And will not rest
until it is shouted to those bosses.
The setting is absorbing the sounds
And the meeting proceeds
with no hype.
All are listening and pretending,
A few decide
On the apparent democracy.
Raising your voice is not welcome
And hiding your knowledge
behind a subtle question
might be your only expression.
I sit today
Alone and not lonely
Like a modern woman searching
and possessing her space.
Overqualified and clearminded
Are just traits she shows in her work,
Selected between being a romantic, traditional, and self-doubting.
Those eyes whisper my reward
After an intense day of fight.
They secure my hugs and promises
for the future.
Many hours waiting for this moment
of appreciation and safety
In our home.
Hard and strong like a Kernel
In the stream of the competition
That science has become.
Floating or settling
Talking or observing
I learn to alternate the powers
While the target slowly fades.
You can pause for a day, a week,
And nobody sees your standing.
You alone Are creating.
Your mind, your imagination
Is processing yours next steps
And gluing together your achievements.
What comes next is in the picture
But still unfocused
until your superpowers
Lost in the books
Swimming through the pages
Breathing my notes
I oxygenate the mind
To draw the contour of a future experiment
And isolate the daily adventures to give it life.
Lazy body and crowded mind
Make my person a dichotomy
With zeds from my feet
And sparks from my hair.
Silence and mental traveling
Stir my energy like a cocktail
And equilibrium is found
Time flows slowly
While I read
And train myself to appreciate my reality
Of messy results
Looking for a logic
And persons I love
Trying to come closer.
Heavy eyes and slow thinking
Are a thick fog wall I have to break
to start the day.
No energy left for a smile or free support
In this busy lab.
A General uneasiness takes me
In this situation of peace and boredom
But the reason is unknown
And the real laughter is hiding still.
Years of focused uninterrupted attention
To talks on mysterious topics
Turned me in a generalist
Myself and critical thinking for free.
Where is my core? Where is my passion?
Sleeping through the winter
Of scientific loneliness
Among thousands of specialists.
Signs of age, symptoms of the changing time
Recur unexpected through my day
Shedding a cold perspective
On my actions and reality
I cannot always see.
Blue skies above and spiky roses below
Accompany my thinking
And drift towards a future
Of renewal and fireworks.
Tapping on the floor
I pace the value of my time
And train my patience.
External observers can judge my work
And evaluate my knowledge
Like a rough diamond under the lens
But no eye can know it all.
Internally distracted by an espresso
I live intensity and frustration
In the same instant.
The high tide of energy will pass
Leaving a human and restless
Managing of time and ambition.
Caught up by the lab turmoil
I end up in situations I can’t control
And do not realize.
Taken by surprise
Rapidly search for my thin shield
When a sword would be my choice.
Everybody laughs and dies a bit inside
Thanks to your loud senseless sexist humor.
Many makes can stupidity have
Yours is comedy,
The lowest one
With no imagination or word game.
An airy circle will form
Amber I will watch it.
My brain figuratively sits
On a wooden chair in the back of my head
And stares around
To acknowledge the reality and the dynamics
In front of its feet.
Relaxation comes, as energy at a minimum
Is necessary during the day.