Regular and precise
Like a shiny Salt Crystal
Feel the changes in the air around me.
Melting away I let my energy spread
While strongly I hold on to the skills and ideas
Hiding inside but not vanishing.
Noise and broken sentences
Crawl in my mind
Worrying why the job I used to enjoy
Is now a reason off dark dreams and tears.
Have I seen a part of it that disgusts me?
Is it just this broken environment I am in?
Is it inside me? Is it the situation?
I reject the whole package
And my life gets impossible,
and gets on.
The time spent planning and polishing details
is nothing against the odds of scientific research.
The controllable is mysterious
and your plan is just a forecast
of your protein’s behavior.
Predicted and overanalysed
still surprises you in the lab
when the unexpected happens and adrenalin is needed
to find the solution
to a confusing situation.
Opinions are heard
And slowly bent
By those who hold the power
While the stream of information
And initiative never stops.
Looking from far
Makes all people small
And turns problems into dark speckles
While giving hope to the tired heart.
In the rain,
The road is clear
and the future seems harmless.
Walking alone does not scare me
If the drops sound steadily behind me.
This wet darkness is comfortable
And hugs me all the way home.
Passionate yet careful
I guard myself through the day
To find the juicy tasks
In the shadow
Among the senseless
That shine so bright.
At night the energy is released
And the joy of the day culminates
In luminous dreams and improbable situations
On which what learnt during the day
Unfolds and fights of the difficulties.
Dancing smoothly in the dim light
I coordinate and stop
I start and block
I pull and feel deeply
The energy for the moment
While the music accelerate
And accompany me
In the rushing towards the dawn.
My eyes have become lazy
Scrutinizing the day
for a glimpse of the future.
Active streams and imaginary flights
It is a hard job with sweaty palms
bringing the lost stream
To an inner silent spring.
The future planned, the topic is chosen,
And still there details of everyday drain you
With their burocracy, their demand for funding,
taking away the passion that brought you to the bench
In the lab.
Years of focused uninterrupted attention
To talks on mysterious topics
Turned me in a generalist
Myself and critical thinking for free.
Where is my core? Where is my passion?
Sleeping through the winter
Of scientific loneliness
Among thousands of specialists.
Signs of age, symptoms of the changing time
Recur unexpected through my day
Shedding a cold perspective
On my actions and reality
I cannot always see.
The candid dove of experimental design flies in
And shows to all the way
To elegance and beauty
Of working in the lab
Blue skies above and spiky roses below
Accompany my thinking
And drift towards a future
Of renewal and fireworks.
At the end of the table
The wise sits in silence
Observing and staring
Those who nervously run
And show their plumage.
Tapping on the floor
I pace the value of my time
And train my patience.
External observers can judge my work
And evaluate my knowledge
Like a rough diamond under the lens
But no eye can know it all.
Remind me the turbulence
of the daily life
When holding to the surface
Pushes you forward
And keeps your eyes on the horizon.
Caught up by the lab turmoil
I end up in situations I can’t control
And do not realize.
Taken by surprise
Rapidly search for my thin shield
When a sword would be my choice.
When the fear sets in
Reasoning is a far weak flame
Fighting timid to set a luminous fire
To restore control and confidence.
Patience and focus are rewarded.
Pretty of scientific doubts
I lie thoughtless in the office,
Where are my results?
Are they meaningful?
Imaging reviews and critical questions,
My whole theory collapses
in fear and awe
While doubting myself.
Go far and you will find
Your question mark
Adrenaline and fear will rush
While your steps will start
To be longer and longer
For a closer and closer
Destination of clarity.
Flowers and light in a ray
decorate my corner
bringing life in an office of intensity and cramps.
Learning the antique art
of pronouncing monosyllables
I forecast a bright future and move the first step
Pink and purple
will invest my office like a breeze
or warmth and freespeech.
Innovation starts by doing things differently
and no greyzone is allowed
in my timid heart and brave mind.
Words come out and silence enters
liberating the energy and welcoming the confidence.
Public speaking is a walk
in the land of thorns and poppy seeds.
Your journey begins, the andrenalin fuels you
warm hands reassure you.
The decision is taken
And the result is bound
To the conditions, solutions, and timing.
Forecasting the future
Looking at the past failures and sneaking possibilities
Is the talent of the good ones.
I see yellow, you say green
shedding doubts over reason and logic.
Trust yourself and look straigth,
you will not fool yourself again
by wasting time for unrealistic hypothesis
that undermine you
and your mind.
The night comes and the carousel
Of ideas and conjectures
What impossible in the lab during the day
Becomes glamorous and knitted with discovery and potential for the future.
Written down, it will be judged tomorrow
In the sunlight.
Wave on wave
The disruption comes
In seconds or instants
Under my eyes.
Control over it is just fool
And no time is left
The few milliliters that make a difference
Make me realize of the importance
of moments and gestures.
Richness and purpose
Can hide in the drops
You don’t consider.
Today, like a raindrop,
I dal through my life.
I am attracted by the difficult
and unexplored territories.
I will shout in my pot of gold
And wait for a white rabbit to pass by
And enquire me.
The day starts with a late awakening,
With purchasing the wrong ticket,
And forgetting the breakfast.
The day of planned success
Begins with the fog and chaos
Of the Monday mind.
Commas and digits describe my day
Typing and aligning
Tasks of different value.
Tasks to connect dots
That take me forward
And draw the borders of tomorrow.
At My desk I protect myself
With a broad screen and massive keyboard
But crazy ideas and hurry penetrate
Just to make me enjoy my coffee more.
My mind drives away
while results and errors are projected
connceting the points of a young scientific career.
A spark strikes and I can help,
the day is rich.
Heat flashes and palpitations,
Sweaty palms and anger,
Is it menopause or group meeting?
The extremities of biology
Summarize the extreme of human dynamics.
A Low Energy transfer
Of projects and results
Streams through the lab
Engulfing the ideas at the benches.
It has reached now its maximum
And bloomed in a rich
And vibrant plan
For the most elegant experiment.
Under pressure we remove
The bacteria that harm our experiment
For the coming investigation.
A whisper tells me
the solutions address ready
For hosting the mutant cells
And trigger the fluorescence.
My kcat lingers today
And an extra effort is needed to reach the bus
Under the intense rain.
I will reach out for distractions
And unavailable hugs.
Like in a movie,
Bad news and waterdrops holds hands
Waiting for time to pass.
Work seems from a challenging hobby,
A hunt for a treasure few have seen.
The treasure is a sealed bottle
Lying under nitrogen in a closed hood
With no label.
Only the brave will reach it
And recognize its value,
And break the seal.
Stand up and go
Your idea is leading you.
You will figures out the steps
Under the light of excitement
Day by day.
The question that woke you up
Will come back in your head
And hunt you
Until you can reach the full stop.
This is the fun and the essence of research.
Alone in silence
I stare at my samples
All lined up and ready to prove themselves
Like little timid soldiers.
Here is the trumpet, with its sharp and energetic sound
And here are the soldiers
Running blindly to their position.
As a human chain, they are the steps
Making the golden path
That leads to an undiscovered forest.
Excited for a new email
I see you staning waiting in the folder
and hardly resists from opening you.
Sadly your length deprives me from the joy
and your tone makes my brain angry
as I read through the lines manipulation and frustration.
Holding the worst of my pens,
a rush of adrenalin takes me
and the craziest of the experiments is designed.
Steps are simplified,
and pride in the elegance of the solution fills me
and brings a timid smile to my lips,
Has anybody seen me?
They will see the manuscript.
Planning of mutations
Brings me back to childhood and playing with Lego.
Will this small brick be able to support the castle?
Will this extra arginine pimp this enzyme?
Mutagenesis plays by the rules of nature
And smiles at evolution,
Embarrassed by its small efforts
Towards lab-scale successes.
The DNA is a evanescent drop
Of a water-like liquid
At the top of the eppy.
Stubborn and robust
It can stand there and watch the ages pass.
A minuscule change today
will change its meaning
Will give it a new purpose and a new life.
Possibilities are open once small changes are made.
Letter by letter
I label the tubes with my precious DNA
And stare and my young fingers
That jump and dance
With click click and uh uh.
Popping eppies brings a laugh
to the girls in the lab
tip tapping by the centrifuge.
Research means being surrounded
by dozens of smart active people
That invade your territory
Behind your bench, your shaker, your drawer.
They constantly also invade your mind
Your assumptions, your projections, your life.
Growing with your experiments
You leave the door open to being changed
and to evolve into an adult
and intro a doctor at the same time.
You can do it I in a blink,
Well and structured you can perform.
Your body however tells you no.
You mind will like it, it is a certain ego booster
But your inside is tired and wants a deeper reason
A social value and human contact.
What to choose? What is better?
You are not ready to say it out loud,
Waiting for that moment.